As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
