He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
