When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
this hospital has no fireball
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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