dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
