Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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