There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
