To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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