This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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