Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
