it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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