he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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