its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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