Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
