and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
