Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
