I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
