Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
