I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
