well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
