He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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