She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
