i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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