She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
