I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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