Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
