Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
