Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
