All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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