Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
