I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This baby is an asshole
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
