I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
