yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
