just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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