Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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