You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
