there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
