there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
tell me about the eggs
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
