remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
