He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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