And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
