I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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