whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
