She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
