I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
