Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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