im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
