wrigley field is MILF paradise
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
