Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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