so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
