In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
