Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
