what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
