Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
