I think my vagina is haunted
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
