Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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