i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
